The Secrets to Finding Balance on the Fall Equinox

We are heading into the fall equinox. This is the literal season of letting go. It’s a great time to jump on my 365 days of letting go challenge and practice letting go. Each day I share a tiny suggestion of what to let go of that can lighten your load and remove the layers so your inner light can shine. 

In fact, I just had a conversation with someone who was telling me that when she was a little girl, the song “This little light of mine” was her favorite. She used to sing it loud and with so much joy. I think that’s a great way to motivate yourself to let that inner light shine. Sing it- this little light of mine. I’m gonna let it shine. 

That’s what it means to let go. We let go of the layers of judgments, bad habits, negative programs, limiting beliefs, and things that other people have said that really were never us so we can be whatever it is what we were called to be. It’s about taking off the shackles.

And as I said, the fall is a great time to do that, and nature is a wonderful teacher. There are so many talking heads offering solutions to things. Some of them sound brilliant and many of them contradict each other, but Nature’s voice never changes. 

you can always count on the idea of “as within, so without.” That means that what you see outside of you is always inside of you. Now, I could go in a million directions with that, but as it relates to the autumn equinox what that means is that the earth is in a state of balance with the days being of roughly equal length, and it’s time for us to get there too.

Humans are liminal creatures. We stand between heaven and earth. We are neither solely spiritual nor solely physical. We are both. And it’s hard to be both because the demands of both conflict. And the autumn equinox is a liminal time. The night and day are of equal length so you can’t say the 24 hour cycle is one or the other because it’s both. It’s half masculine and half feminine energy. It’s complete. It’s everything. And in this space of everything, everything is possible.

This is why liminal spaces are scary and exciting. You can do anything. So, I’m doing this podcast a little early to give you a chance to think about that. Be intentional about what it is you want to do with this time because it only comes twice a year and is so powerful.

If you are not sure what to do, you can let something go and pick it back up again. Or you can let something go and pick up something else that’s not fabulous. What’s the point of that? Who wants to go from the frying pan into the fire? Or be on a hamster wheel.

No, watch nature. Before I talk about where Nature is heading, let’s spend a little time here and now - in this space of balance.

We often talk about work life balance and the balance between being a couple and not losing ourselves. That’s that liminal space I was talking about. But we don’t stay there. It’s usually too uncomfortable for us. We want to label things and stabilize them. We want them to always be the same, predictable, and safe. And when that gets too boring, we can make a drastic move in the other direction. And this is what creates imbalance. Or we like drama and living on the edge, so we shake things up and move away from balance.

I think we can’t really find balance as humans without accepting the idea that everything is always changing. Life is not like a teeter totter where you can stop it in the center and balance. it’s a wheel that is always turning, riding a bike or a motorcycle, or a dance. It flows. That’s kind of mind blowing if you think about it.

Balance is a space where you’re in and out, male and female, black and white, old and young, active and passive, rich and poor, and all other polarities. It’s an incredible space of fullness and emptiness where everything is available and everything is possible. So this fall equinox, you may want to tune into that. Think about how this energy is alive in you and what you want to do with it. 

I remember when we were kids, we used to skateboard all day every day. It was second nature, like walking. And one day when I was older, I saw a skateboard in a store and got really excited. I pushed off and started to glide and almost broke my neck. In my mind I was still that 12 year old who skateboarded easily, but my adult body hadn’t done it for a while. It forgot how, and I almost fell. 

So balance takes practice. You have to do it every day. In fact, practicing balance is so important that balance is a predictor of longevity. Yep, if you can’t stand on one foot for ten seconds, the prognosis isn’t great. Yep, you’re twice as likely to die in the next ten years as those who can balance for ten seconds on one foot without holding on to anything for support. Yes, it’s that important! 

Another way that you can see how balanced you are is to time your breath.You can do that right now. Just slowly inhale and count how long it takes to fill your lungs. Then exhale at the same speed and count. Most people will have a different number for the inhale as the exhale because we’re out of balance. And imbalance leads to dis-ease.

The cool thing about breath and balance is that you can also use the breath to create mind, body, spirit balance and health and restore balance. Yes, that’s right. So here’s an easy hack for this. You just do the same slow inhale and exhale that you did before, but this time as you inhale, visualize yourself bringing white, healing light in through your skin, organs, cells, and into every part of your body. Feel it energizing and balancing you from head to toe, and as you do this, tell your body to heal itself. Yes, the body is intelligent and knows how to do that, but you have to command it to do that. You have to participate.

To see when it’s done, just do that same counting the inhale and exhale that you did before, and you will see that your body balances itself. Now, for some people, one or two breaths does it. For others it takes a little longer. There are individual differences. I don’t know why it’s that way, but I do know that anyone can rebalance themselves quickly and easily with a tiny amount of effort. 

But you have to do it regularly. Remember what I said about always moving? We move in and out of balance. The more lifestyle habits that you have to create balance, the easier it is to stay there and the longer you can stay there between recharges. So, if you struggle, don’t just give up after a few breaths. Keep going. 

Everything is energy, and it’s all connected. When our bodies are balanced, symptoms that we call disease go away too because dis-ease is simply imbalance. Inflammation, insomnia, high blood sugar, migraines, back pain, and anxiety are all caused by imbalance. I know it sounds too simple to be true, but it is true. Good habits help. Getting back to nature helps.

How you do anything is how you do everything, and if you can’t balance on one foot or your inhale and exhale length is out of balance, you can bet that the rest of your life is out of balance too. So, if you don’t have some sort of practice to check in with yourself and make sure everything is on track, by the time you notice that things are “off,” you could be way off track. It’s easier to correct when the changes are small. 

That’s really what we do at the Let It Go Now community. We make little changes. We let go of little things, and learn little tweaks so it’s not hard. It’s a journey of a thousand miles one step at a time. 

Nature doesn’t shift from one season to the next abruptly. It changes softly. The leaves outside my window are just starting to crisp on the edges. Acorns are just starting to fall. We’ve had a lot of rain this year, so everything is still pretty lush and green, but we know that every year, the die off comes. That’s followed by a period of dormancy and cold, then underneath the ground, the roots wake up and daffodils and crocuses will push their way out. Buds will form on the trees, and everything blossoms again. It all ripens to bring an abundance of food before the cycle repeats again.

Sometimes you’re up. Sometimes you’re down. Sometimes things are easy, sometimes they are not. If you focus on on where you are, and don’t see the big picture, you might not see the balance. If you are riding on the rim of the wheel, you will get giant mood swings, but from the hub, you get a big picture view of the whole wonderful thing and a lot less drama, so that is where I like to stand. It’s both stable and moving at the same time, but again scary because it’s always a place of becoming. And once I got used to that, it was thrilling.

Learning that was a process of trust. It’s not easy to be always becoming. You never arrive and you’re never done, but that’s how life is, isn’t it? 

Donald Miller said, “The trees are losing their leaves and not a one of them is worried.” That’s what that trust feels like now. It’s just natural. I accept that this is what life is. There is only this moment, and the next one will change. So, I don’t get hung up on a 5 year plan or my financial goals for this year. I still make a plan and have a direction, but I set my intention and then just take the step that is in front of me. If I end up somewhere else, it’s part of that check in and self correcting as I go. I think that’s far better than focusing on the destination, not being present for the journey, and ending up somewhere that doesn’t really work.

And what’s happening right now at the fall equinox is harvest. It’s harvest time. It’s time to reap what we’ve sown. And if you planted good seed in healthy soil, tended that seed, and got a little help from Mother Nature, you probably are enjoying a good harvest. 

If you aren’t planting any seeds, you’re sponging off others, doing have the discipline to tend your seeds, or you don’t have good soil, you probably aren’t feeling too abundant and sure about the rough times to come. And if that’s the case, it’s never too late to learn.

Everybody doesn’t have teachers who inspire them to look to Nature. Everybody doesn’t have green spaces to explore as a kid, so you may have to teach yourself now. But every lunar cycle, we see the Moon go from empty to full. If you’re sensitive, you feel the energy shift from frenzied and exciting to sleepy. Everything is a cycle. 

The more in tune you are with the natural cycles, the more in tune you will be with your own. At this time, the earth is abundant and yielding her fruits. We are putting things away for lean times. There are harvest festivals and fairs to celebrate the harvest and abundance. It’s a way to share the bounty and give gratitude. 

It’s time to tune into what is dying within. We are preparing for death, and darkness, and if you are afraid of death, and many people are, then it’s time to get to know death. We’re not there yet, but it’s coming. And if we are prepared for it, it can be glorious to let things go. Let them die.

Letting go creates space for openness and expansion. It creates space for what’s new to be reborn. And sometimes that’s an idea, a new relationship, a new project, a new hobby, a new way of life, and sometimes it’s our actual life. 

That big change is ahead of all of us. I was talking to a guy who wanted to know how to talk about things like aging, death, and sickness. I couldn’t understand his question. What he was saying was that he had thoughts and concerns and didn’t know how to bring them up because those topics were forbidden in his family. 

This is why we have cycles. We can see all the phases of life every year. Everything is born, matures, peaks, dies, and returns to the earth before being reborn again. if you aren’t paying attention and talking about it, if you don’t have a guide to follow, you’re going to feel lost.

You’re never really lost because you are a part of Nature. You can’t be separated from it. But it can feel that way. So I wouldn’t hold back with the questions. Ask. Read. Research. Find people who are wiling to have those conversations. We are all teachers for each other. 

And enjoy the ride. Henry David Thoreau said, “it is pleasant to walk over the beds of these fresh, crisp, and rustling leaves. How beautifully they go to their graves! How gently they lay themselves down and turn to mold - painted of a thousand hues, and fit to make their beds of us living. So they troop to their last resting place, light and frisky. How many flutterings before they rest quietly in their graves! they that soared so loftily. How contentedly they return to dust again and are laid low, resigned to lie and decay at the foot of the tree, and afford nourishment to the new generations of their kinds, as well as to flutter on high, they teach us how to die.”

You’re not going to learn that if you don’t see it. So look around. We’re all so wonderfully supported in this life. We’re all so connected. 

Everyone can shine if they choose to. And if you don’t see yourself as that ripe apple or tomato that’s hanging on the vine, or the golden and fiery maple leaves that are soon to fall, you owe it to yourself to mature, and ripen. Find out what your brand of shining looks like. You can use that same breath I talked about before to find out.

Just sit somewhere quietly and breathe in that white, purifying light with breaths that are deep, smooth, and even. So the inhale and exhale are the same length. Be careful to not strain. You want to keep it slow and easy. Let your mind become one with the breath. No stress, no pressure. Just empty your mind with each exhale and relax your body. Offer no resistance, and then ask the question - any question works actually, but in this case we’re talking about awakening to the certainty of what your gift is to the world. So, how are you meant to shine? And listen. Don’t push anything away. Don’t chase. Be still and let it come.

Life is really that easy. We really aren’t separate. Everything is knowable because you are everything and everything is you. When you realize that, you become a super hero. And it’s important to become a responsible one and a wise one so that you don’t hurt yourself or anyone else. 

Do you remember a time when you were a teenager or young adult when your life changed? After that event, you just never felt the same again? Maybe you had your first cigarette or alcoholic drink. In the movie Stand By Me, it was the day that the group of kids went to see the dead body by the railroad tracks. 

Sometimes the energy  of the fall equinox is that space where you are on a cliff and you know it’s going to be insane if you jump, but you have no idea what it will be like when you reach the bottom. Or sometimes it’s more like the movie “What’s Eating Gilbert Grape.” Gilberts liminal moment happened when he met Becky. He had no idea what meeting her would mean to his life until he was on the other side of it. It crept up on him. It got him unstuck, and that’s what the equinox can do for you. Get you moving and get you unstuck.

So, if you are looking for a no fail way to live, a guarantee, or a rock solid program for doing that, I’m here to tell you that it doesn’t exist. The thrill is in the surprise. Life’s a gamble. That’s just how it is. And lots of people will tell you that in retrospect, the things they hated the worst ended up being the things they appreciated the most or meant most to them. So, do what you’re going to do. Don’t let the fear of failing or hardship daunt you. Think of this moment AND the big picture, and in the big picture, it will all be alright. 

So, if you are going to do a little ritual this autumn equinox, it could be a symbolic bra burning - or whatever it is you’re letting go of. Burn the symbol of your bondage. Set yourself free. 

Have a little mock funeral for the bad habits you’re letting go of, the unhealthy relationship, or the crippling debt. Do that before midnight, and when the day dawns, create a symbol for what you want to put in its place. I alluded to this before. If you aren’t sure where you are going, you could fill a hole with something you don’t want. 

Or if you are really disciplined, you can leave that space open. My mantra is always “simplify my life” and it does get lighter and more spacious, but it’s always a battle because no matter how many times I clean out my closet, I still always have more clothes than I need. No matter how many times I put my books away, there is always a pile of books next to my bed. I like open space and like the free flowing energy of nothingness, but it does take discipline to keep it that way. See, this is what I mean about life is always moving. Nothing stays still or the same.

So, yes, autumn is one of my favorite times of the year. The mornings are cooler. It’s really pleasant to be outside. The colors are gorgeous, and nothing is extreme. It feels balanced and good, right? So, let the calendar and nature bring that out in you too. Be like Nature and chill, take it easy, share your bounty with the world, and get ready to die. 

It sounds awful, but it doesn’t have to be if you know the on the other side of dying is a glorious rebirth. Plan for that. It’s authentic and true. We’re all going to die, and when you think about all the movies and books about tragedy striking the hero, it’s often some kind of death. Sometimes it’s a literal one where someone dies, or it could be my car died and that led to me having all kinds of adventures, or I got fired, or my boyfriend left me. It starts tragic and goes somewhere wonderful. 

The only difference between that and a quitting a job or leaving a relationship is choice and intent. But they are really the same thing. They are all about letting go. The more you do it, the easier it becomes. And at some point, you may even begin to look forward to it and want it because living in the hub, that liminal space, of always moving is freeing. You don’t have to commit to being anything or doing anything. You can be nothing or everything. You can be nowhere and everywhere. You can be timeless, expansive, and astonishing.

Sound good? Practice that on the equinox. Find a way to step into that energy and embrace it. That’s what balance looks like. 

So, I started the 365 days of letting go challenge on Sept 1, so when this podcast posts, it will be day 12 of the challenge. If you’re just hearing about it, it’s the perfect time to join. And the process for me has been really amazing so far. When I started, I was like, “365 ways to let go? Are there really that many?” and what I started by making a list. I wanted to make sure I didn’t duplicate, you know? And writing the list is a different process from writing the blog post, and it helped me to stay focused. I got on a roll and knocked out 365 in a really short time. And every time I write a blog post, I get inspired to live lighter, more balanced, more natural and more authentic. 

So, i am super excited to share these ideas with you. Every one won’t work for you. Everybody is different and something you’ve already got handled. They aren’t a challenge, but some will be. And I do believe in making a little progress every day. Everybody can do something each day. And I love it when my clients have a flash of insight and say, “Oh, I don’t do that thing anymore” or “Oh, I don’t think like that anymore.”

Since I am here keeping you more disciplined, I’ve become more disciplined and intentional in my own walk, and that’s been phenomenal. I love growth and feeling more capable and competent in something. It makes me a better leader, coach, human, and member of society. It just feels good to be able to do things and help other people do things.

So, I’m having a good time and love to share my good time with other people, so if you like those things too and want to be better tomorrow than you are today, join us. Lean into that scary, inspiring, powerful liminal space of being everything and nothing and really experience the nature of the human existence. It’s super cool.

Thanks for tuning in this week, guys. Have an amazing autumn equinox. If you are doing something wonderful, let me know about it in the comments, and I’ll see you next week. Ciao.